My pity party, that is.
I've been doing a lot of questioning lately, especially today. Where do I fit in?It's been frustrating because sometimes I look around at our society and feel as if I don't belong, like I missed something or I simply don't get it. I may joke that I was born in the wrong decade, as if that explains this feeling, but then looking back at the times before me I realize it wouldn't have been any more 'my place'.
Sorry to interrupt, but that remainds me of a funny story. A guy came into the office where I work the other day, and I tend to listen to oldies most of the time there. On that particular day I was jammin' out to some Led Zeppelin. Any way, the guy says, "Now I get why you wear your hair like that." Was that a compliment? I chose to take it as one, but thinking about it again later, I wondered why an explanation for my hair was even needed. As if it had been some bizarre mystery until this dude heard older music and had an ah-hah moment, thinking "oh, now I get it."
As I was saying. . .
At times I feel like throwing in my metaphorical hat, but then what would that even solve? There's no magical place to run away from in order to escape people, and even if there were I don't think I'd really want to go.
Perhaps I'm just at that point in my life where I feel the need to question everything.
What's normal? Why do we do the things we do? And maybe we achieve some degree of satisfaction by seeking answers to our personal, philosophical questions. Besides, it's this very type of inquisitiveness that helped lead me to my BC and learning to accept and love my natural hair. But when I start to question everything, I wonder if there is some point at which I should stop and just leave things be.
I was watching BET Jazz a while ago and they were discussing black hair and interviewing black women on the subject. I couldn't help but think that we won't all ever be natural again (feel free to agree, or just roll your eyes at my exasperation). As long as society continues to have certain standards of beauty, there won't ever be a time where it's OK and normal to just wear one's hair the way it naturally is.
After I left my short pity party, I realized it's dumb to give up. Change is a long and hard process. Maybe there won't be a major change during our life time, or maybe it's already begun. After all, I went natural. If someone had asked me a few years ago if that would ever happen, I would have said no.
I want to part with a positive message for the day, which is not to give up on fighting for what is right. We've all heard that before but I think it's just one of those things you have to discover for yourself. We may not be able to change everyone's minds, but it starts with educating at least one. My personal mission is to continue to educate myself. As they say, ignorance may be bliss but knowledge is power.
Until next time fellow people. . .
