American Culture

When asked to define American culture most people, including myself, tend to describe a society made up of many different ethnicities, religions and beliefs that meld together into a sort of super-culture. The most unique answer I received was from my husband who used only one word, 'win'. I wouldn’t have thought of this term myself, but now that I have it seems to sum our culture up very well. To tie together all the definitions I heard and further explain the concept of winning as an American ideal, this is how I would put it: America is made of people who come from a line of strugglers. No matter what country our ancestors hailed from, they came here wanting a better life, if not for themselves—at least for their children. And for some of us we were brought here under persecution and have since had to strive for better treatment and equal rights. Ultimately we want to win. In our daily lives we strive to win in some way or another; whether it’s competing for a better job, a better school, a nicer place to live, or just the best deal. It is the American way of life to not only want better, but to reach for it.

The Party's Over

My pity party, that is.

I've been doing a lot of questioning lately, especially today. Where do I fit in?

It's been frustrating because sometimes I look around at our society and feel as if I don't belong, like I missed something or I simply don't get it. I may joke that I was born in the wrong decade, as if that explains this feeling, but then looking back at the times before me I realize it wouldn't have been any more 'my place'.

Sorry to interrupt, but that remainds me of a funny story. A guy came into the office where I work the other day, and I tend to listen to oldies most of the time there. On that particular day I was jammin' out to some Led Zeppelin. Any way, the guy says, "Now I get why you wear your hair like that." Was that a compliment? I chose to take it as one, but thinking about it again later, I wondered why an explanation for my hair was even needed. As if it had been some bizarre mystery until this dude heard older music and had an ah-hah moment, thinking "oh, now I get it."  

As I was saying. . . 

At times I feel like throwing in my metaphorical hat, but then what would that even solve? There's no magical place to run away from in order to escape people, and even if there were I don't think I'd really want to go.

Perhaps I'm just at that point in my life where I feel the need to question everything. 

What's normal? Why do we do the things we do? And maybe we achieve some degree of satisfaction by seeking answers to our personal, philosophical questions. Besides, it's this very type of inquisitiveness that helped lead me to my BC and learning to accept and love my natural hair. But when I start to question everything, I wonder if there is some point at which I should stop and just leave things be.

I was watching BET Jazz a while ago and they were discussing black hair and interviewing black women on the subject. I couldn't help but think that we won't all ever be natural again (feel free to agree, or just roll your eyes at my exasperation). As long as society continues to have certain standards of beauty, there won't ever be a time where it's OK and normal to just wear one's hair the way it naturally is.

After I left my short pity party, I realized it's dumb to give up. Change is a long and hard process. Maybe there won't be a major change during our life time, or maybe it's already begun. After all, I went natural. If someone had asked me a few years ago if that would ever happen, I would have said no.

I want to part with a positive message for the day, which is not to give up on fighting for what is right. We've all heard that before but I think it's just one of those things you have to discover for yourself. We may not be able to change everyone's minds, but it starts with educating at least one. My personal mission is to continue to educate myself. As they say, ignorance may be bliss but knowledge is power.

Until next time fellow people. . .  

Strictly for Entertainment

In case you hadn't already guessed, they never called me back to do the show. Big surprise. As to the reason I wasn't chosen. . . your guess is as good as mine. According to by mom and a friend of mine, I'm too much of a threat to Tyra and they couldn't have me on the show making her look bad. Sounds good to me. 

My guess is that I was not angry or interesting enough for TV. They are looking for girls willing to act like fools, call each other names, and rant and rave like crazy extremists. The things that make for "good TV". Well that just isn't me and after giving it a lot of though, I'm glad I wasn't picked because I would have gone. I would have showed up there armed with valid points, a logical argument and facts to support my reasoning. . . not exactly the type of discussion they're going to have. That's what makes me sad. That show, and all the others like it, are strictly for entertainment. They try to convince us that there is good information being provided, like they're really trying to improve lives. They are not.

But it is what it is. I can't blame them for running their business the way they do. Their goal is to make money, and making money is exactly what they do.

I'll just continue to direct my opinions toward people I think are genuinely interested, or at least people that may benefit from what I have to say. People like you.

Thank you for reading. I'll try my best to keep it interesting.

Until next time. ( I need to come up with a catch phrase. I'm open to suggestions)

4 Months Later

It turns out something did come of my viewer comment to the Tyra Show.

I left class today to find that I had a missed call and a new voice message, so I checked it. It was a woman calling me from the Tyra Show and she asked that I call her back. When I returned her call she said that they were going to be doing a show about the controversy of black women chemically altering their hair and she asked if I'd be interested in going on it.

I was shocked that they even called me so I wasn't too quick on my feet with reponses to her slew of questions, but I told her I was interested. She proceeded to ask me about my opinions on the subject, quoting what I had written. She was probing to see just how adamant I am and make sure that I would be willing to repeat these thoughts to other guests and Tyra Banks in person.

After talking to her she asked to add me as a friend on either facebook or myspace so she could see what I look like. She also asked my height and weight. I think she was trying to figure out if I'd be TV worthy.

Now I'm waiting to hear back. The last I was told, she had "a couple more people to talk to first" then she would get back to me.

At that point I realized that I had just been interviewed, rather than selected, to be on the show. Suddenly I feel like I'm waiting to find out if I got the job, or if they are just going to hire someone more interesting instead.

Regardless of the outcome, I think it's pretty cool that this happened at all.

On the down side, getting chosen means getting an inside peek at how TV shows are really run, and just like finally getting a job at your favorite store it's doomed to lose some of its sparkle. It will no longer be a mystery. I'll get to see the wizard. Is this good or bad?

I'll let you know. . . if I get the job.

Until next time sports fans.

Viewer Comment

Today, after deciding that I am thoroughly annoyed with Tyra Banks and her wanna be hipper than Oprah show, I went on her show website to see if I could write her. The only thing I could find was the viewer comment box. Although I'm pretty sure she'll never read what I wrote, I'm glad I used it. Now I have that off my chest and can pretend she now knows what I think.

Here's what I said in case you're interested (It should provide a little insight to something I feel deeply about):

A couple of weeks ago I was watching your show on my lunch break and you were talking about skin bleaching and how it's a problem among some black women (crazy women, I might add). The over all message I got from that show, and many other shows you tend to do, is the importance of liking yourself for who you are. You seem to be an advocate of high self esteem, which I think is great, especially for women in our ideal-image-of-beauty driven society. The only problem I have with this is that it seems to me you are not the ideal role model because of the ways you choose to wear your hair. Two years ago I made the decision to stop relaxing my hair, cut it all off, and go natural. It was the best choice I ever made and I would love to see you do the same. I don't think there's anything better a black woman can do for herself, besides accepting her body, than accepting her natural hair. The epidemic of chemical straightening and use of weaves has got to stop. Why can't we just love our hair the way it looks naturally? Who are we trying to look like? It's definitely not ourselves, the way God made us. If prominent black women like yourself could take that step toward embracing who you are, just imagine what it would do for all the girls out there who look up to you. A woman bleaching her skin because she's ashamed of her color is not much different than a woman chemically straightening her hair because she's ashamed of its naturally nappy state. Our hair is beautiful just the way it is. It doesn't have to flow and move. Love your hair Tyra. Quit hiding it, go natural. Maybe it will actually become "in" for us to wear our own hair, instead the stuff we buy in bags.

Tune in for more. Who knows, maybe she'll actually respond to that and I can tell you all about it.